Choosing Sara Palin. A totally for real except for being completely made up transcript.
Adrienne Maria Vrettos is the author of YA novels SKIN and SIGHT. She lives in Brooklyn, New York with her husband and daughter. She blogs regularly on her website, www.AdrienneMariaVrettos.com
“You know what we need to do, is lure all of the women who were going to vote for Hillary away from Obama.”
“What’ll we use for bait?”
“We could have John give up his membership to the H.M.W.H.C.”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Don’t even joke about that!”
“Do I need to remind you that John’s membership to the He-Man Women’s Haters Club has been the cornerstone of his appeal to conservative voters?”
“Plus, he’s the co-chair and treasurer.”
“I guess your right.”
“So we’re back to the beginning.”
“Lady bait.”
“Right. Lady bait.”
“Maybe offer coupons? You know, to the supermarket.”
“Mmm, no. Brings up the economy, too sensitive.”
“What about a free iPod?”
“I just got a free one at my gym.”
“Well, we’re not talking about you. We’re talking about ladies without iPods.”
“We could offer makeovers.”
“Interesting. Sources tell me that the makeover episode of America’s Next Top Model is the most popular with viewers every season and…”
“They’re called cycles.”
“Excuse me?”
“America’s Next Top Model. They don’t call them seasons, they call them cycles.”
“Hm. Sounds suspiciously like the lady-trouble-time-of-the-month. Do we really want to associate ourselves with that?”
“I don’t even sleep at the house when that’s going on.”
“Well, that’s what the couches at HMWHC headquarters are there for.”
“We’re getting off track.”
“You know, we may be ignoring the obvious here”
“What’s that?”
“Hillary.”
“Hillary what?”
“VP”
“You want him to pick Hillary for VP?”
“It’d be a maverick move!”
“Calm yourself. I’m not saying pick Hillary for VP, I’m saying pick another one.”
“Another what? Democrat? I don’t know…”
“Not another Democrat, another woman.”
“A woman? For VP?”
“Interesting.”
“Okay, say we go in that direction. Which one do we pick?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter?”
“Does. Not. Matter.”
“It doesn’t matter…I think I see your point.”
“Women are…easily confused.”
“You’ve got that right.”
“Have you ever seen one of them try to fold a map?”
“Those Hill-Heads will be so excited to see a woman on the ticket ...”
“…they won’t even notice it’s not their kind of lady...”
“She could be our kind of lady!”
“Against abortion rights!”
“Against contraceptive rights!”
“Against rights! You know, in general.”
“Wow, the old switcheroo. You really think they’ll buy it?”
“They’re women, they’ll buy anything.”
“Trust me, they won’t know the difference. They’ll be too busy singing I Am Woman Hear Me Roar…”
“Do they still sing that? I’d think they’d have gotten a new song by now.”
“Well, whatever the song, they’ll be too busy singing to notice we’ve gotten them all hysterical over a female candidate that, if we play our cards right, will end up making it illegal for them to roar in the first place, if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t really.”
“I was being metaphorical.”
“We don’t want women to roar?”
“I rather like it when they roar, if you know what I mean.”
“We’re getting off track again. Should we pitch it to Maverick?”
“Let’s do it, Goose.”
“You know what we need to do, is lure all of the women who were going to vote for Hillary away from Obama.”
“What’ll we use for bait?”
“We could have John give up his membership to the H.M.W.H.C.”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Don’t even joke about that!”
“Do I need to remind you that John’s membership to the He-Man Women’s Haters Club has been the cornerstone of his appeal to conservative voters?”
“Plus, he’s the co-chair and treasurer.”
“I guess your right.”
“So we’re back to the beginning.”
“Lady bait.”
“Right. Lady bait.”
“Maybe offer coupons? You know, to the supermarket.”
“Mmm, no. Brings up the economy, too sensitive.”
“What about a free iPod?”
“I just got a free one at my gym.”
“Well, we’re not talking about you. We’re talking about ladies without iPods.”
“We could offer makeovers.”
“Interesting. Sources tell me that the makeover episode of America’s Next Top Model is the most popular with viewers every season and…”
“They’re called cycles.”
“Excuse me?”
“America’s Next Top Model. They don’t call them seasons, they call them cycles.”
“Hm. Sounds suspiciously like the lady-trouble-time-of-the-month. Do we really want to associate ourselves with that?”
“I don’t even sleep at the house when that’s going on.”
“Well, that’s what the couches at HMWHC headquarters are there for.”
“We’re getting off track.”
“You know, we may be ignoring the obvious here”
“What’s that?”
“Hillary.”
“Hillary what?”
“VP”
“You want him to pick Hillary for VP?”
“It’d be a maverick move!”
“Calm yourself. I’m not saying pick Hillary for VP, I’m saying pick another one.”
“Another what? Democrat? I don’t know…”
“Not another Democrat, another woman.”
“A woman? For VP?”
“Interesting.”
“Okay, say we go in that direction. Which one do we pick?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter?”
“Does. Not. Matter.”
“It doesn’t matter…I think I see your point.”
“Women are…easily confused.”
“You’ve got that right.”
“Have you ever seen one of them try to fold a map?”
“Those Hill-Heads will be so excited to see a woman on the ticket ...”
“…they won’t even notice it’s not their kind of lady...”
“She could be our kind of lady!”
“Against abortion rights!”
“Against contraceptive rights!”
“Against rights! You know, in general.”
“Wow, the old switcheroo. You really think they’ll buy it?”
“They’re women, they’ll buy anything.”
“Trust me, they won’t know the difference. They’ll be too busy singing I Am Woman Hear Me Roar…”
“Do they still sing that? I’d think they’d have gotten a new song by now.”
“Well, whatever the song, they’ll be too busy singing to notice we’ve gotten them all hysterical over a female candidate that, if we play our cards right, will end up making it illegal for them to roar in the first place, if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t really.”
“I was being metaphorical.”
“We don’t want women to roar?”
“I rather like it when they roar, if you know what I mean.”
“We’re getting off track again. Should we pitch it to Maverick?”
“Let’s do it, Goose.”
Add a Comment
2 Comments
-
Comment by Becka on November 1, 2008 at 1:23pm -
This is actually hilarious. And its the sort of conversation you can totally see happening.
Well, not really, but the intent behind it at least.
-
Comment by Diana Rodriguez Wallach on November 1, 2008 at 12:22pm -
"Let's do it, Goose."
Oh, if only John McCain were Tom Cruise, he might be more acceptable--couch jumping and all.
About
Forum
Whatever happened to "change"? 7 Replies
Started by JenDeng in DEALING WITH THE ISSUES. Last reply by JenDeng Jan 6.
Favorite Banned YA Titles 61 Replies
Started by E. Kristin Anderson (Emily) in YAY FOR YA!. Last reply by Jaden Dec. 13, 2008.
Nation-wide Rally Against Prop 8 Tomorrow! 17 Replies
Started by unityofeffect in DEALING WITH THE ISSUES. Last reply by unityofeffect Dec. 4, 2008.
Badge
© 2009 Created by Maureen Johnson on Ning. Create Your Own Social Network
You need to be a member of YA for Obama to add comments!
Join this social network